Scattered

I’ve definitely been a bad blogger for the past few days. My life got pretty real this week, and I’m still in the stage of time management for this semester, and my brain’s been scattered. (Well, I’ve also been under the weather for the past few days too, which probably factors into my as-of-late spacey-ness.) I’ve considered myself a very improved case regarding time management, but sometimes I just can’t rifle through my thoughts and priorities and things to do. Being scattered is a little jarring at times, and it’s also the mindset where you can make silly mistakes that you just laugh at afterwards. (Directed towards Liz: sorry about those misplaced quotation commas…)

But these are the times that are such good tests for me. I run well off of pressure, and I’ve gotten progressively better at taking criticism and rolling with it. Taking life as it comes can be pretty exhausting sometimes, but that’s no reason to be melancholy or angry or frustrated. Now, I know I’ll have times in the near future where all I see is frustration, but as long as I keep telling myself to put everything into the bigger picture, into the bigger context of my life, everything seems to glimmer a little bit more. I’m doing what I love and even though I’ve got a few more variables in my life to balance along with reporting, I’m really happy right now. I feel like I’m contributing; I’m giving something back to the community.

I don’t want to just be one of those students who floats through school and has nothing to say for the experience. I’ve already experienced so much in these past couple weeks that I wouldn’t trade for anything. I like to challenge myself, and it’s just a matter of managing that challenge. That’s the curse of over-ambition. You want so much, but sometimes you just have to say “No,” and sometimes you have to say “Yes.” It’s the yes-or-no decision that I’m perfecting now. I like to give myself a heavy load, but I can’t let myself become a glutton for punishment. I always push myself, but I’ve got to make sure that I don’t fall over the cliff. That might lead to a dark spiral of caffeinated hysterics that I’m sure no one particularly yearns to deal with. But I certainly can’t deny the magic of coffee. I’ll have many late nights and early, early mornings. But I don’t want to be doing anything else, and that fact alone is what keeps me going. Not to mention, I’ve got some great reporters and editors around me who really serve as great support bases, and my peers outside of the paper are just as fantastic. I try to embrace every moment and person around me and I’m not going to let that stop any time soon.

Here’s to the night owls and the dreamers out there. Whatever keeps you going every day, whatever gets you out of bed in the morning, whatever gets you through that third cup of coffee, keep at it. I’m glad to have found what I believe my “gift” is (or will be), as storyteller Gladys Coggswell described in an event I covered yesterday.

“And make the world a better place when you find out what your gift is, and you’ll be fine,” she said.

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